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all_heart_sano: she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out. (It took me 20 minutes to get her upstair) (Default)
Default
Keywords:
  • It took me 20 minutes to get her upstair
Description: she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
all_heart_sano: Damn this tequila. (Totally just grabbed the wrong dick.)
Keywords:
  • Totally just grabbed the wrong dick.
Description: Damn this tequila.
all_heart_sano: and all it says is "i love it so much" (Apparently I saved myself a memo, last night entitled "cake")
Keywords:
  • Apparently I saved myself a memo,
  • last night entitled "cake"
Description: and all it says is "i love it so much"
all_heart_sano: Cops were called. We put a chicken in someone's house. (You missed out on a serious adventure)
Keywords:
  • You missed out on a serious adventure
Description: Cops were called. We put a chicken in someone's house.
all_heart_sano: like "Orgasm Free since 1983" (I feel like I should come with a warning)
Keywords:
  • I feel like I should come with a warning
Description: like "Orgasm Free since 1983"
all_heart_sano: my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again (I'm bringing cupcakes to work today)
Keywords:
  • I'm bringing cupcakes to work today
Comment: as an apology for my actions at the bar last night
Description: my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
all_heart_sano: (Where did you get a picture of my penis?)
Keywords:
  • Where did you get a picture of my penis?
all_heart_sano: there's a note with it that says "peace offering" (Someone left beer in front of your door)
Keywords:
  • Someone left beer in front of your door
Description: there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
all_heart_sano: One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds (I feel like I got hit by a truck.)
Keywords:
  • I feel like I got hit by a truck.
Comment: Or a baby dinosaur.
Description: One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
all_heart_sano: if babies were born with moustaches... (Whever I get sad I just imagine)
Keywords:
  • Whever I get sad I just imagine
Description: if babies were born with moustaches...
all_heart_sano: then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet. (You came in at two thirty)
Keywords:
  • You came in at two thirty
Comment: wearing your underwear and a tie
Description: then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
all_heart_sano: my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed (+went for ice cream, accidentally deep-throated it)
Keywords:
  • +went for ice cream,
  • accidentally deep-throated it
Description: my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
all_heart_sano: The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary (I do not want to do anything.)
Keywords:
  • I do not want to do anything.
Description: The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
all_heart_sano: that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread. (Dude, you were so drunk last night)
Keywords:
  • Dude,
  • you were so drunk last night
Description: that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
all_heart_sano: by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet? (we just saw you getting yelled at)
Keywords:
  • we just saw you getting yelled at
Description: by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?